Happy February - Feel The Love

Happy February!

January can be a tough month for relationships. At work and at home, you are recovering from the holidays and may not give the time or attention you usually do to cultivating those connections. And no matter your political party, the tensions and changes in the past weeks have negative emotions running high. Whether or not you're "in love" or in a romantic relationship, it's a good time to think about how you share the love in your daily life.

Show yourself some affection. Yes, self-care is as important as caring for others. How do you show yourself love on a daily basis? Do you start your day with a walk? A chat with a friend? Set aside time to be creative? Do you make a point to use positive self-talk when describing yourself and your projects? Pick one and give it a try. Let's get intentional about showing ourselves some love.

Show others gratitude and appreciation. Love is expressed in many ways. Being present in your relationships is in and of itself an expression of love. Research shows that good marriages include regular expressions of gratitude. A simple "thank you" can make a huge difference. We recently visited our niece and her husband in their new home to meet their new baby. I was impressed by how they thanked each other for changing a diaper, fixing a bottle, checking the baby monitor. Don't forget to do the same for the little and big things your partner or friends do for you. Let's not take each other for granted.

Appreciation and acknowledgment are also keys to happier, more engaged employees. Do you have a gratitude or recognition plan in your department? Think about how you show your team appreciation.

It's always good to be thankful in your relationships, whether personal or professional.

So dear readers, thank you for reading and being engaged members of this community. I do appreciate it!

As an added treat, enjoy this beautiful intention of love from my friend and Nia dance instructor, Kate Nash.

With love,

Gloria

Is It Time to Reinvent?

Financial planner turned café owner, physicist turned financial planner, marketing executive turned astrologer. psychologist turned business consultant. Stories of professional reinvention are inspiring and becoming more common. 

But reinvention doesn’t have to be dramatic. It can be subtle. Have you shifted your focus in your career, business or relationships? Taken up a new passion or past time?

Over the last few years, many people have found themselves in situations that might be outside their control and require a quick shift to get some new momentum.

Working in professional development, I hear lots of these reinvention stories from people of all ages, especially baby boomers.

For the past 6 months, I’ve been working with colleagues from the fields of law, finance, mediation, nursing and travel to present a workshop, Reinventing Your Life after 50. Each session has been a full house, another indication of the popularity of the topic. Attendees have been a range of men and women, employed, unemployed and retired, volunteers or just interested in learning more about making a change.

As the keynote speaker, I present the overview of the workshop and considerations in reinventing In the workplace,  First off, there’s good news and bad news for baby boomers (I’ve resisted being considered one for years, but I’m starting to cave). The good news: the unemployment rate is lower in those over 50 than for the general population. The bad news: when people over 50 are out of work, they are out of work for longer. When they re-enter the work force, their salaries decrease by nearly 25%.

Whether or not you’re reinventing, and no matter what your age, here are a few important points to consider. Each has to do with understanding yourself, your preferences and your behavior (I’m still a psychologist after all). In the coming weeks, we’ll look more closely at each. In the meantime, here’s my 3-part recommendation:

1. Know your strengths. Yes, it’s my favorite topic. But as long as you’re thinking of taking a different path, you might as well travel on one where you’re using your key skills and talents as well as doing what you love to do. “Find out what you do well and do more of it.” Sound advice from the founder of strengths psychology, Donald Clifton. 2. Understand your values. Values are important beliefs, attitudes and philosophies that influence the way we live our lives. When you do things that are value-driven, they are more meaningful and ultimately attainable than those that may not match your value system. 3. Consider your unique personality. Also known as your character, traits and temperament, your personality is made up of a set of characteristics that influence the way you see, feel and behave in the world. You might be outgoing, detail oriented, logical, intuitive or a combination of these and a host of others. The important thing is to know your preferences and respect them.

What’s your reinvention story? Share yours below.  Mine can be found on the Bio page of my web site.  And watch for the next blog post about reinventing yourself based on your strengths.

Gloria M. Miele, Ph.D. is a business development and leadership coach and Victory Circles facilitator in Southern California.  She helps entrepreneurs and other business leaders develop the mind set and the skill set to achieve greater business success through coaching programs, workshops, staff training, executive coaching and keynote speeches.  Visit her website at www.optimaldevelopmentcoaching.com and sign up to receive helpful business development resources, including a free Strengths-Based Goal-Setting Tool.  We can also connect at www.facebook.com/optimaldevelopmentcoaching.

Who Do You Love?

Ok, so that George Thorogood song is stuck in my head now.  How about yours? Forget George Thorogood.  I'm talking about who you really love.  Especially around Valentine's Day, we think about and celebrate those we love with flowers, candy, dinner and other romantic gifts.  While some people hate it, others love, love, love it.

If you think about it, we can be pretty quick to profess our love for all kinds of things.  "I love you, honey."  "I love my mom," "I love to travel." "I love those shoes!"  Love can take many forms, and we hand it out generously.

But one place we tend to skimp in the love department is with one very special person: ourselves.  Instead, we are often our own harshest critic.

And what happens when we're self-critical?  We can lose our self-confidence (not coincidentally the Victory Circles Master Mind Principle for February).  You might have heard of negative self-talk?  Well, this is a great example.

To get a handle on negative self-talk, start by making a more conscious effort to notice it.  Yes, awareness is the first step.  Then the next time you notice that inner critic coming down on you, just reply, "no thanks" and let it go.

Instead give yourself a break!  One helpful perspective is to think about what you'd say to a friend who was being so hard on herself.  Hmm.  You'd probably be pretty supportive and empathic and try to do something to make her feel better.  You'd be kind, gentle, loving and compassionate, wouldn't you?

Of course you would.  And you can do that for yourself.  Be kind, gentle, loving and compassionate to yourself.  Now that's true love.

How do you make sure you're more compassionate and loving toward yourself?  Share below if you're inclined or leave other thoughts or even a Valentine's Day wish.

Back to George Thorogood.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Love, Gloria