My Travel Adventure and a New Appreciation of Honoring Time

Tempus fugit - literally, time flees, but colloquially understood as time flies.  

I write this after an experience this morning that really highlighted how time flies, stops for no one and should be rightly honored. I had a 7am flight from LAX to DC on business and decided to take the airport shuttle. I also decided I didn't want to leave at 3am, so I told the dispatcher I needed to be at the airport at 6am. I figured they'd pick me up early enough-you know how those shuttles are. I got the confirmation call for a 4:30am pick up. Even if we have to pick up more people on the way, I thought, we should be fine.

The first surprise was that the driver was almost 15 minutes late. Dang, that cut right into my buffer. He let me know we had two more pick ups: one at the local university and the other in Malibu.

CSUCI is already off the beaten path, but Malibu? I was not expecting that. While PCH at 5am is pretty clear, it also adds time and miles to the trip, so I knew there was no way we'd be getting to the airport by 6. I saw the driver's GPS was estimating 6:20. I had already checked in online and paid to check a bag. Knowing the 45 minute bag check rule, I figured I'd never get on my flight.

So how are you feeling reading this? A little stressed? Then you can imagine how I was feeling: anxious, a bit nauseous and sleep deprived with absolutely no control over the situation. Two main themes were going through my head: blaming self and blaming other.

"I should have given a 5:30 airport arrival time. 6:00 was too close. What was I thinking? Oh no-I have to pee! I should have gone one more time before leaving the house. I shouldn't have had that other cup of coffee. I might have to ask him to stop. There's no time! " Alternating with, "If the driver hadn't been so late it would have been fine. Does he even know where he's going. He drove right by my house and didn't even see me in the street waving my arms. And why did they put me in a car going to Malibu?"

Feeling better now? Of course not! neither was I; I was just escalating. I knew I had to quiet my mind. This train of thought was nothing but derailing. Ironically I'm doing a 21-Day Meditation Challenge, but I couldn't clear my head. Instead I tried reasoning with myself. "There's nothing you can do about it now. Just relax and rest and see what happens. You'll deal with whatever happens when you get there." "I should have booked a 5:30 arrival. Man, I have to pee." "Just stop. Breathe, relax. There's nothing else you can do."

I was finally able to calm myself and rest a bit. Acceptance was helping and the only thing I could control. I started picturing myself spending hours at the airport (I had in my head there was an 11am flight), writing this post, thinking about how much reading and writing I'd get done in my down time, that if I had to wait even longer I'd call my friend who lives near the airport and try to meet her for a while. Yeah, everything would work out the way it was supposed to (this is something I generally believe anyway-sometimes it just takes me a while to get there).

The driver pulled up to the terminal, and I ran inside. The greeter told me I was too late for my flight and directed me to the full service line. The agent scanned the boarding pass I had printed at home and the luggage tag came out of the printer. "I can still make it??" It was now 6:30. He looked confused. He didn't think so but having checked in online helped. There were no more flights to DC until tomorrow (WHAT?). He'd check if there were any flights from San Francisco, but I'd have to pay to get there. I was seeing my business trip dissolve before my eyes.

"Let me see if he can walk your bag to the plane." I didn't know what that meant, but it wasn't no, so I was hopeful. He came back, told me it was taken care of, gave me a priority security sticker, and off I ran (my version of running anyway).

I made it through security in under 10 minutes, got to the gate, and they were still boarding. I even had time to stop in the restroom (yes, mind over matter- I had held it all that time!). Have I mentioned how much I love Virgin America? I made sure to tweet them my thanks before the plane doors closed.

@virginamerica thx for getting me onto flight against all odds #108 lax-iad

— Gloria Miele, Ph.D. (@GloriaMiele) March 12, 2013

I boarded the crowded plane. To my delight, there was a spot in the overhead bin right above my seat that was exactly the size of my rolling brief case, AND the middle seat between me and the lady at the window was empty.

You see? Everything does turn out the way it's supposed to.

I settled in and took out a book: The Law of Divine Compensation by Marianne Williamson. One passage after the next resonated: "The laws of time and space are more malleable than we think." LOL, you can say that again! "Mistakes and wrong turns need not throw us off. The capacity for correction is built into the universe." Woah. "Our problem is that we tend to have tremendous faith in the power of our disasters and far too little faith in the power of miracles."

You might say that making my flight was something of a miracle. Maybe getting to that stance of acceptance helped in more ways than I can explain.

But even with my faith in the universe, I can't ignore the fact that I could have done things differently. By not honoring time, I put myself in a stressful situation that could have resulted in inconvenience, lost wages, penalty fees and other unfortunate consequences. Right now I'm feeling gratitude for many people and things: the shuttle driver (he did get me there), the Virgin America staff, my personal resources to handle a stressful situation, Marianne Williamson's timely messages and those mysterious factors in the universe that worked in my favor.

All's well that ends well, right? Especially when there are lessons to learn. And speaking of lessons, I'm going to listen the Victory Circles Radio show I co-hosted last week to remind myself about some of the time honoring concepts we shared. Apparently I need a booster.

What experiences have you had when you didn't honor time and ended up feeling the consequences? Any tips for getting a handle on self-talk or other calming techniques during a stressful situation? Any other travel stories to share?

Gloria M. Miele, Ph.D. is a business development and leadership coach and Victory Circles facilitator in Southern California.  She helps entrepreneurs and other business leaders develop the mind set and the skill set to achieve greater business success through coaching programs, workshops, staff training, executive coaching and keynote speeches.  Visit her website at www.optimaldevelopmentcoaching.com and sign up to receive helpful business development resources, including a free Strengths-Based Goal-Setting Tool.  We can also connect at www.facebook.com/optimaldevelopmentcoaching.

Is It Time to Reinvent?

Financial planner turned café owner, physicist turned financial planner, marketing executive turned astrologer. psychologist turned business consultant. Stories of professional reinvention are inspiring and becoming more common. 

But reinvention doesn’t have to be dramatic. It can be subtle. Have you shifted your focus in your career, business or relationships? Taken up a new passion or past time?

Over the last few years, many people have found themselves in situations that might be outside their control and require a quick shift to get some new momentum.

Working in professional development, I hear lots of these reinvention stories from people of all ages, especially baby boomers.

For the past 6 months, I’ve been working with colleagues from the fields of law, finance, mediation, nursing and travel to present a workshop, Reinventing Your Life after 50. Each session has been a full house, another indication of the popularity of the topic. Attendees have been a range of men and women, employed, unemployed and retired, volunteers or just interested in learning more about making a change.

As the keynote speaker, I present the overview of the workshop and considerations in reinventing In the workplace,  First off, there’s good news and bad news for baby boomers (I’ve resisted being considered one for years, but I’m starting to cave). The good news: the unemployment rate is lower in those over 50 than for the general population. The bad news: when people over 50 are out of work, they are out of work for longer. When they re-enter the work force, their salaries decrease by nearly 25%.

Whether or not you’re reinventing, and no matter what your age, here are a few important points to consider. Each has to do with understanding yourself, your preferences and your behavior (I’m still a psychologist after all). In the coming weeks, we’ll look more closely at each. In the meantime, here’s my 3-part recommendation:

1. Know your strengths. Yes, it’s my favorite topic. But as long as you’re thinking of taking a different path, you might as well travel on one where you’re using your key skills and talents as well as doing what you love to do. “Find out what you do well and do more of it.” Sound advice from the founder of strengths psychology, Donald Clifton. 2. Understand your values. Values are important beliefs, attitudes and philosophies that influence the way we live our lives. When you do things that are value-driven, they are more meaningful and ultimately attainable than those that may not match your value system. 3. Consider your unique personality. Also known as your character, traits and temperament, your personality is made up of a set of characteristics that influence the way you see, feel and behave in the world. You might be outgoing, detail oriented, logical, intuitive or a combination of these and a host of others. The important thing is to know your preferences and respect them.

What’s your reinvention story? Share yours below.  Mine can be found on the Bio page of my web site.  And watch for the next blog post about reinventing yourself based on your strengths.

Gloria M. Miele, Ph.D. is a business development and leadership coach and Victory Circles facilitator in Southern California.  She helps entrepreneurs and other business leaders develop the mind set and the skill set to achieve greater business success through coaching programs, workshops, staff training, executive coaching and keynote speeches.  Visit her website at www.optimaldevelopmentcoaching.com and sign up to receive helpful business development resources, including a free Strengths-Based Goal-Setting Tool.  We can also connect at www.facebook.com/optimaldevelopmentcoaching.

Who Do You Love?

Ok, so that George Thorogood song is stuck in my head now.  How about yours? Forget George Thorogood.  I'm talking about who you really love.  Especially around Valentine's Day, we think about and celebrate those we love with flowers, candy, dinner and other romantic gifts.  While some people hate it, others love, love, love it.

If you think about it, we can be pretty quick to profess our love for all kinds of things.  "I love you, honey."  "I love my mom," "I love to travel." "I love those shoes!"  Love can take many forms, and we hand it out generously.

But one place we tend to skimp in the love department is with one very special person: ourselves.  Instead, we are often our own harshest critic.

And what happens when we're self-critical?  We can lose our self-confidence (not coincidentally the Victory Circles Master Mind Principle for February).  You might have heard of negative self-talk?  Well, this is a great example.

To get a handle on negative self-talk, start by making a more conscious effort to notice it.  Yes, awareness is the first step.  Then the next time you notice that inner critic coming down on you, just reply, "no thanks" and let it go.

Instead give yourself a break!  One helpful perspective is to think about what you'd say to a friend who was being so hard on herself.  Hmm.  You'd probably be pretty supportive and empathic and try to do something to make her feel better.  You'd be kind, gentle, loving and compassionate, wouldn't you?

Of course you would.  And you can do that for yourself.  Be kind, gentle, loving and compassionate to yourself.  Now that's true love.

How do you make sure you're more compassionate and loving toward yourself?  Share below if you're inclined or leave other thoughts or even a Valentine's Day wish.

Back to George Thorogood.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Love, Gloria